Never Enough

My Ex likes giving gifts. It’s her thing. At the end of her internship, she got candy for her colleagues, which was a nice gesture. She also got a piece of jewelry for one female colleague who she worked with most of the time, which I found a bit over the top. Before that, she got a toy for the child of another colleague and brought it to him on her day off, so that the child would get it in time before a celebration. I usually gave my Ex a goodbye kiss when I dropped her off at work. One day, she told me, we cannot kiss, because said colleague, who happened to be from her country as well, might see us. Her reputation towards a colleague from her country was more important than me feeling minimized in our relationship. I replied to her that it’s none of his business.

Another colleague, also from Arab culture, asked her when she is about to visit home, because he needed a certain brand of tobacco that isn’t sold in Europe. For context, my Ex’s unpaid internship would end in a few days and she didn’t plan on traveling home anytime soon. Yet, she discussed possibilities with me on how to get the tobacco. I voiced the opinion that, as there is no convenient opportunity coming up, it’s clearly not my Ex’s responsibility to solve her colleague‘s minor matter, who she might not see ever again after the internship is over. My Ex replied with a moral hubris: “In the Mediterranean you don’t think twice when people ask for your help!”

My impression was that she was trying a bit too hard to please her colleagues. Was this narcissistic love bombing at a workplace? More importantly: whould she go an extra mile for me in our relationship? I believe that she would, but only if that extra mile was conveniently reachable for her. If her needs collided with mine, her needs would always come first.